Did I mention I really enjoy prayer meetings? When I became a Christian, it was probably one of the most boring responsibility but there are days like this where prayer was exciting and that without a doubt I felt God was moving.

I prayed with Pastor Nelson today. And it was just so moving his chat that he had with me prior to prayer. Everything from really encouraging words to really good sensible advice on how I should handle a certain proposal that I had. And Pastor Faith approached me with advice on the situation as well. In a weird way Pastor Nelson and Pastor Faith are my spiritual dad and mom, and Pastor John is like the older brother. Haha. It’s a really cool and interesting relationship.

This week I was overwhelmed with the wisdom passed on by Pastor Nelson. I definitely consider it a blessing to have a Bible Professor as a friend that I could ask any question about the Bible on my mind. This week, the people around me did most of the asking, and I was satisfied with the answers He gave. I definitely leveled up with my Bible Study ability through Pastor Nelson, and this upcoming Saturday I’ll be learning Textual Criticism that is suppose to be an even higher level of Bible Study. Hahahaha, I just can’t wait.

I’ve been learning so much… even controversial things in the Bible. I’m learning how to set aside Christian Theology that we are taught and going to the sources where the theologians came up with their theology. It’s so cool. I have a better grasp of people’s challenges of God’s omnipotence, omnipresence, and omniscience, how the Bible came together, homosexuality in the Bible vs. present, and even the context of the Bible verse people speaks of pre-destination. Oh it’s sooooo interesting. If only I knew this much when I lead CCF. I think I gave more wrong answers then right on these issues. 

Currently Listening Casting Crowns By Casting Crowns 4. Who Am I see related

Casting Crowns – Who Am I?

Chorus:

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

I am so hooked on the chorus of this song. And after some research, I found it won Song of the Year at the Dove Awards. Reflecting on the lyrics, it’s exactly what to hear right now.

These few days have been interesting because despite feeling troubled at work, I could sense God trying to cheer me up! On Sunday, Pastor Nelson preached about Ezra and about the Hand of God. He spoke about scenarios with bad bosses… and even glanced over at me when he did. Everything from Christian radio, to my devotions, to concerned friends spoke of suffering, trials and seeing how God intended it to be. The Hand of God is on me.

I was really struggling emotionally at work today. It’s one of those days where I couldn’t do anything but call out to the Lord to stop me from crying. I can’t describe the situation… it’s like working for Chef Ramsay from Hell’s Kitchen, except for the fact that my boss doesn’t understand what I do. It use to be the ultimate dream job for me, the job title, location, atmosphere, the perks, the meals, (not the pay tho, haha). I even had Birthday Bash 2005 there. But the more I think of it, the more I think it's about time to leave, but scary thing… I’d considered staying if I was offered more money… all my life I wanted stability, but God is telling me to have more faith.

This week I’ve been thinking about a few things:

Is worrying a sign of weaker faith?

As we grow older do our fellowships focus on making time for God or do we continue to focus on surrendering our lives for God?

And why… do I let the negative energy from work consume me…

I feel like splurging again. Like going out and buying a DS lite, or just getting off of this seat to go buy a Wii, all the gear and some games... except I still can't find one. I have a new laptop, new digital cam, new phone and yeah... it's scary how I'm just looking for something to buy but don't really know what I want. I hope this feeling ends.

Teens Conference is coming up. I just can't wait. I gotta start praying God will grant me another opportunity to help lead someone to Christ. All my captains and all my co-coaches are so cool.

Thank you for all those praying for me and happy me through this.

Currently Listening Beautiful News By Matt Redman see related

One of my resolutions was to spend more regular time reflecting on my life and opening myself more, but so far it looks like I haven’t been keeping this resolution. I notice many blessings pass by and fade along with my memory. Well here are some of my thoughts about the past two weekends:

Dec 30, 2006: I was best man to my best friend. And the most prominent memory I have was when my best friend looked over at me and smiled at me a few times during the wedding and the banquet. It was a reaffirming/confirming smile and glare; it almost made me cry every time. I felt so honored to be the best friend and the best man... not just for the day but for a lifetime. It triggered 10 years worth of good memories. I would have bawled my eyes out if my job wasn’t to support the groom that day, and keep him calm. It was the day I really understood how God blessed marriages by performing the first marriage with Adam and Eve. And the couples’ happiness was so contagious that I was so happy. The professional photographer actually let the bridal party do a portrait with the “Blue Steel” pose when I was only joking about it. And like I mentioned in my best man speech… “Thank you for telling me about Jesus and how He is a personal Savior. I am eternally thankful Kelvin.” Jenny, thank you for all the long chats, love and support as well. May God bless your marriage, cheers!

Dec 31, 2006: I forgot my cell phone at home and Sunday school was cancelled. So I told a few people from the Zoe fellowship group to go on to lunch without me and that I’ll see them at the New Year’s Eve party in the evening. After I finished teaching Sunday school, Vicki walked by and told me that a few people wanted to wait for me for lunch. I think I was about to burst into tears there when she told me, but I just responded with “wow thanks!” And when I opened the door I found a room full of friends waiting to go out to lunch with me, I was really tempted to burst into tears. This is what a surprise party feels like… except moments like these catch me more off guard then around my birthday when it’s okay to be suspicious, haha. It was very thoughtful of them all to wait around just for me.

January 6, 2007: I enjoyed fellowship and indeed I believe it’s a place where we can carry each other’s burdens. I will continue praying for all those that shared prayer requests. The lyric “God knows each tear that falls, and hears me when I call” comes to mind. After lunch with the gang, I attended a TC captain meeting, even though I’m not a captain. I just wanted to give my TC captain a ride to Scarborough, and I figured a little more Christian training couldn’t hurt. I’m glad I went because a simple line touched me in a big way, “befriend the friendless and love those who are hard to love.” It’s not only came upon to me as a command, but also a challenge. Oh and it’s always great chatting with the AFC people.

January 7, 2007: A small group of us gathered to meet up with a fellow brother in Christ who has a lot of doubt about Christianity. It’s interesting how I’m so lost for words at times. I just wanted to go for the conversion, and though some things make so much sense to me, it didn’t seem the same with others. I was only able to answer the question about populating the earth when there is just Cain and Abel. I knew in the Bible that Adam and Eve had Seth afterwards and many more sons and daughters. (Thank you 2007 Bible Reading plan!!!). I also used my “out of context” wildcard on Romans 8:29 when he was using the verse for predestination... haha. I know I wasn’t going to convert him that day, because I know God would use His own timing and use the Holy Spirit to convict him. But the thing I didn’t understand… why him? It’s hard to believe that these attacks from the evil one even affect leaders.

Well that’s my two cents on things. Oh I’m starting this new Max Lucado’s: It’s Not About Me book for $6.99. It’s been a while since I’ve really dove into any Christian literature besides the Bible. It’s a new year, fresh start! =)

Blessings.

I'm learning how to be more transparent. I guess its true how I'll only share a little on this spiritual blog site, but I'm slowly learning how to trust people more. I had thoughts of making this a daily life ramblings but I figure that sticking to my public spiritual journal would be better. What fun would it be to hear about my crushes... haha, j/k.

Not sure if you ever heard me ramble about how I can't use the word "awesome" for anything besides God, but now Pastor Nelson has got me hesistating before calling anyone "good". For instance, I would always be "he's a good man". And sometimes, as Christians we sometimes say about a non-Christian... "but what if he/she is a good person". Pastor Nelson challenged us back by asking us where we determined our basis of good/bad. And he brought us back to good as determined by God. How society has changed the basis of good/bad from a God focus to a sociiety focus. It was interesting... I thought the Pastor was going to tackle the issue of "society-accepted" good but instead he challenged us on the definition of good from God's point of view.

I hope people wouldn't judge me by any weakness that I have. I remember having this conversation with a friend about another friend not having a high opinion of one of my best friends because of some poor decisions. But you know what... it's so different when that best friend of mine comes face to face with me telling me this struggle of hers, admitting her weakness (that everyone sees). I know sometimes as a Christian, we are quick to rebuke and excommunicate and such and justifiable and all, but yeah at that moment all I felt was I needed to love, support and pray.

I handed out communion this past Sunday. It was my first time. I wore a suit, I hustled to the front when Pastor Nelson called his "brothers" like me to help him out with handing out the communion. I thought it was easy but umm... as I was passing the bread and cup, I did some estimation of the baptized members nearer to the end (don't ask me why...), and realized that I would run out of cups. So I asked the other communion passer and was able to switch the empty tray with a tray with some drinks. PHEW, switched just on time. The highschool Sunday School students in the hall found the story amusing. I think they suggested that I carry a juice box and cups in my suit the next time. One of my friends commented on how she liked how I gave her the elements before the cup, and how it made it easier when passing the tray. At the end of the whole day... I felt awful for not keeping this communion as solemn as I should have. Though I think I got some Sunday School students interested in serving in the church and even taught them about membership, but I think being too down to earth on certain things isn't a good thing. I guess that's why at times I should keep to myself...

Someone asked me to share about myself in my Xanga, haha. Err... so I'll admit I'm somewhat of a germaphobe. I don't know what happened, some of my friends remembered back in the day when I wouldn't be sooooooo hesistant to share food. Now I pump purell on my hands after shaking people's hands at work. I use purell during and after bowling. I wish all places would use paper towel so I can open the washroom door and do a three pointer from the door to the garbage can. And my current beef is how I think people shouldn't talk when they are in lines at buffets. haha.

Anyways, I hope everyone is doing well. Hope to see you one point or another over the Christmas holidays. ciao!